April 5, 2020

Why Do I Stalk My Ex.

Stalk your Ex? Maybe not…

Seven out of ten breathing humans have that one Ex who can cause an increase in blood pressure and a disruption in your line of thought through just one mere SMS. (They existeth* do not argue)

Rarely do we get over this kind of Ex because a) You must have spent a considerable amount of time together OR b) They totally get you and in some weird way you will always look for them in other people. Exactly, moving on from this kind is close to impossible, that fight is not for the faint-hearted. I know someone somewhere relates, they probably stalk that ex once in a while. (you are lucky if you didn’t get blocked into Oblivion)

Is stalking a good idea?

You probably want to see how they are getting on with their life, their achievements and personal advancement. No that’s a lie, you want to see who replaced you!! Are they happy? Do they glow different? (Remember if she glows more after you break up, you were the problem) You hit all avenues with information about this ex, you suddenly develop skills that could rival an FBI agent. You dig deep and wide. Alas! Information is meant to be found. As you dig deeper you open a Pandora’s box and that’s when it hits you, not all news is good news!! There you are devastated and broken, wishing you wouldn’t but you did.

So why stalk?
“Some people stalk their exes because they are completely not OK in their current life and are trying to fill a really big hole with an emotional candy cane,” says Dr. Freed.

Closure?
Well, maybe not because of such luxuries you can only get from yourself. Mostly it’s the in-born typical human mentality, JEALOUSY. Yes, jealousy because somehow somebody you only wished the best for has become your competition. You want them to know you can do better without them. You keep looking for assurance from their social media pages, mutual friends and office banter. You are looking for the slightest indication of a screw up so you can beat your chest and say you are better of without them.
Well, it might not be the same across the board but there are some really sweet people out there who from an abundance of goodness and a heart of gold, will not just stalk you they will hit you up once in a while and genuinely ask about your well being, push you out of the mud. Some will even try to fix you with one of their single buddies…No am kidding!!

So here is a little something about closure;
Remember I said its a luxury? Yes, closure comes from within. You can go around looking for reasons why someone did what they did and never find any! You can look deep inside of your soul and discover in as much as you are a good person even bad things happen to good people also.. just maybe you deserved it!
People go through break-ups differently but in the end its all about you as an individual. Once you know what you want, what’s your purpose and what you would like to achieve, you will start looking at people who you once held dear to your heart as part of the process and not just the distraction.

So you could lurk in the shadows, go through all those profiles in ghost mode, you can have pseudo accounts but for as long as you feel you are in a competition that is your load of baggage but the important thing is to move on with a new mindset, get in contact with your feelings and know it is normal to have emotional reactions at the end of a relationship. Don’t let the end of a relationship define who you are.

Courtesy of #talesbymakhatso

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